When I took this celebration – that I have definitely closed an old chapter in my life and opened a new one – to an all-night party, and danced with it, I was quietly informed: “You have definitely closed an old chapter, Stephen, but you haven’t yet opened a new one. They don’t write themselves, you know.”
Which was very sound advice.
And it got me thinking. It’s fucking marvellous that the worst of my breakdown is over. The last three months – ever since I began this blog – have been my best few months in years and years. I’m still a bit of a loon, but having even OK day after OK day is a quiet form of relative heaven. But what do I want to do with this newfound OK-ness, which sometimes even crossfades into pretty goodness?
When I returned from my 2018 hitch-hiking pilgrimage I went on a plant medicine ceremony, and my instructions were clear: write up the pilgrimage, digest the learning, and begin implementing the learning.
Last year I had a good 5-month attempt at writing up the adventure, but hit a weird brick wall, which didn’t feel like writer’s block. Something about the writing wasn’t engaging the deepest part of me.
So, this week I began again. Sweaty Pilgrim v 2.0. I’m writing it in the present tense this time, which really tickles my imagination. And I’ve set myself the – very ambitious – goal of completing the first draft by Noisily (mid-July). So it definitely is bum on seat and daily graft and inspiration and taking care of myself. Wish me well.
Which also means I’m going to wrap up this particular run of blogging. I’ve really enjoyed checking in, and people’s feedback, and I think it’s really helped me find a conversational writing voice, which means I’ve hit Sweaty Pilgrim v 2.0 with my vocal cords already warm and in gentle song.
I’ve also decided to use Lent for a bit of an internal spring clean. No ciggies, no coffee, no spliffs, no booze, no wheat, no refined sugar... and only checking Facebook and the news on Saturday!
Easter Sunday sure is going to be fun.
Big Love – however, wherever and whoever you are,
Here’s a sneaky preview of this week’s writing: